Yes, I am good at something. I am proficient at making noises. I have quite a catalog of noisemaker formulae stored in my gray matter, and I am having fun rediscovering these skills with my children. Here is a list of noises that I have been teaching them.

With nature

One of my favorite noisemakers can be made just about anywhere with a blade of grass. While it’s often called a grass “whistle”, this is actually a misnomer since it’s technically a reed instrument. There’s a bunch of instructional videos available on YouTube, but I think that this short clip captures the fun and chaos of a group of kids learning to do it for the first time:

Another easy and fun whistle (an actual whistle this time) can be made out of an acorn cap. A bottle cap works as a substitute when no oak trees are nearby. This one can be extremely loud when done correctly.

With refuse from snacks

Most people are familiar with the technique of blowing across the opening of a bottle to make a low whistling sound. This is the most versatile technique in my list since it can produce a wide spectrum of notes without much effort. Here is a fun video using beverage bottles:

It doesn’t quite fit in this list, but I’ll briefly mention that the glass harp is similar, but it is more melodic and also more challenging. Here is an example:

An empty raisin box (or certain other food boxes) can be used as a reed instrument to make a sound similar to the grass whistle. Here is a nice example of this technique:

One of my favorite snack-time noisemakers is a juice box. When stomped, a juice box will burst with a satisfying, loud pop, as seen here:

With school supplies

An origami popper can be made from just a plain sheet of writing paper. With a bit of practice, a single popper can be used repeatedly to make a loud pop, as demonstrated in this video:

While noise is not the primary function of a jumping paper clip, I decided to include it here because I think of it as the same category of hacked toy as many of the other entries. And the paperclip does make some very interesting noises.

With your body parts

Don’t have any of these implements handy? You can make some very fun noises with your own body parts. For example, the finger pop:

The hand whistle takes a bit of practice, but can be very fun once you get the hang of it. Here is a good demonstration:

The last item on my list is the classic armpit fart. It’s a big hit with the boys. This video captures the sheer juvenile nature of the skill very nicely, and the British accent adds a bit of class as well.

Anything I missed?

Did I neglect to mention your favorite noise-making technique? Leave a comment to let me know.

– danBhentschel

In a previous article, A popsicle stick for your thoughts, I wrote about parenting strategies for my (most) powerful child, Jacob. One of the comments that I received was a recommendation for a book by Kevin Leman: Have a New Kid by Friday (thanks, Ron.)

I purchased the book from Audible along with another Leman book: Parenting Your Powerful Child. I have now listened to both, and am ready to share some of my impressions.

A quick disclaimer

I listened to the audio version of these books… at about double speed… while driving. So I wasn’t always giving the text 100% of my attention, and I certainly wasn’t taking notes or highlighting sections for future reference.

This article is what I have internalized after listening to the books: impressions and interpretations. It’s even possible that the information here might not be found in any of the books that I mention, but may be a fabrication of my own mind, inspired by the material.

If you are interested, I recommend that you read the books yourself. Kevin Leman is a professional psychologist. I am not.

A new kid by Friday???

I was a bit skeptical, but I decided to go ahead and give Have a New Kid by Friday a shot. It’s good, but not the solution to my dilemma.

“Friday” is a broad-spectrum, parenting tutorial. It covers multiple child personalities, various age groups, and a large host of situations. After listening to it, I added several new parenting strategies to my toolkit. Dr. Leman’s advice is largely in harmony with my own parenting philosophy.

I would summarize “Friday” as helpful and encouraging, but not revolutionary. I gained insight and motivation, but I didn’t have an epiphany about Jacob.

My powerful child

Parenting Your Powerful Child is more applicable to my current situation. The book is focused on children with a personality similar to my 7-year-old. Here are some things that I learned.

• The four goals of misbehavior: attention, power, revenge, and feelings of inadequacy. I have heard this before, but had forgotten. There are plenty of discussions on the topic available on the web, so I won’t go into it here.
• It requires two powerful people to maintain a power struggle. If one person refuses to engage, then the conflict dissolves.
• If I want my son to learn to interact with others in a mature fashion, then I need to model to him what mature interactions look like.
• Powerful children get a charge out of exerting power over others. Jacob only has as much power over me as I grant him.

Deny him power

I see this somewhat as a game of smoke and mirrors. He gets a rise out of exerting power? Then don’t let him think that he’s having any effect. Don’t get frustrated. Don’t get angry. Don’t let him know that he’s messed up my plans for the evening, even if he has.

This can be a challenge to implement. My boy is frequently very frustrating to deal with. I can’t let him get to me, though. If I do, then I’m possibly just fueling the fire.

The best way to accomplish this is to actually not allow his antics to affect me. Find creative ways to work around frustrations and don’t let my emotions get out of hand.

Emotional detachment

As much as I love my children, I have come to realize that in some situations I can do a better job of parenting when I am emotionally detached. Lying in bed with my girls, reading a book to them and singing bedtime songs is a great time to be fully emotionally engaged. When I am dealing with a defiant child, though, I need to learn to set aside the emotions.

I found a valuable tool to aid in emotional detachment in another book that I read recently: Outlaw by Ted Dekker. One of the many paradigm shifts I gained from this gem of a book is the concept of “costumes”.

In a nut shell, the concept is that the various roles that I play in life can be considered costumes that I put on and take off in a dramatic production. If my emotions are overwhelming my ability to think analytically about a situation, parenting or otherwise, then I can ask myself, “What role am I playing now? What can I do to better fulfill this role?”

I believe that I have been able to improve my parenting ability by imagining that I am a performer in a play, acting in the role of a father. I may not be the best father ever, but I can portray a pretty good dad when it’s required of me.

Be the adult

I want Jacob to grow in maturity, but how can I expect him to do that if the only model that I’m giving him is an adult who explodes at his antics, bristles at his disrespectful remarks, and always has to get the last word in?

I’ll conclude with a story. Recently I explained to Jacob that his behavior implies that he considers his own desires to be more important than those of others. He confirmed to me, “Yes, Dad, my own happiness is more important than other peoples’ happiness.”

So I proposed that I should live my own life to please myself, and never do anything that Jacob wanted. He readily agreed. “I think that’s a great idea, Dad.” How could I respond to that? I was tempted to give him exactly what he asked for.

Instead, I told him that I wouldn’t go through with the plan for two reasons: 1) It would be a lie. I do care about Jacob’s happiness. 2) I want him to learn unselfish behavior, and I can’t expect him to learn if I’m behaving selfishly towards him.

Jacob seemed to get the message. Only time will tell if it actually sinks in. I don’t know yet how successful my new strategies will be. I’ve only been practicing for a few weeks, and I haven’t seen any marked changes in his behavior.

I have noticed changes in myself, though. I am less cranky and sullen. I am more optimistic. I am more satisfied in my performance as a father and as a husband. I feel that I am in a good place now, and I am grateful.

– danBhentschel

As I mentioned in my post about books for Nora, it is becoming increasingly difficult to distinguish books that would work well for Timmy vs. books that Nora would enjoy. Every year, the overlap between the two lists increases. Here are the books that I decided were most appropriate for Timmy this year.

The Ruins of Gorlan – The Ranger’s Apprentice Book 1

On the surface, this doesn’t seem to have a lot going for it. It’s formulaic and it only develops a small handful of the characters beyond a brief descriptive paragraph. Somehow it works quite well, though. I enjoyed it greatly, and apparently others did as well because there’s 12 books in this series now.

A word of caution: there is some pretty severe bullying in this book, and there is also some (adult encouraged) pretty severe retribution for said bullying. I didn’t quite find it inappropriate, but it did make me just a bit uncomfortable.

The Prisoner in Cell 25 – Michael Vey Book 1

This book is a hormonal high school geek’s fantasy. Michael is unpopular, and constantly bullied for his whole life. Unbeknownst to the rest of his school, though, Michael has a secret super-power. He can manipulate electricity. Taylor, the gorgeous, popular cheerleader, discovers his powers and reveals to him that she also can manipulate electricity. Together, they go on a quest to find others who share their gift.

Quite a fun read, actually. Reminds me a lot of the Lorien Legacies series, except geared toward a younger audience.

The Paladin Prophecy – Book 1

This is yet another book about impossibly talented teenagers battling against an evil corporation or government agency. I’ve been reading a lot of these recently…

I enjoyed The Paladin Prophecy. It’s well thought-out and executed, and the characters and plot are both interesting. The book contains situations and terminology that I don’t quite consider appropriate for Timmy yet, though. This is one to keep in mind for the future.

The Iron Trial – The Magisterium Book 1

Callum comes from a family of prestigious wizards, but something sinister happened in the past, killing his mother when he was just a baby. Now his father has raised him up to be suspicious and fearful of all things magical, but Callum has just been recruited to be a pupil of the head Wizard of the Magisterium.

What happened to turn his father away from magic? How was his mother killed? How does Callum fit into the picture? Follow Callum and his two teammates as they try to uncover the truth about the past and discover together the wonders of the magical world.

After my tirade on comparing books to Harry Potter, I can’t help it with this one. The structure and events in this book are very reminiscent of the Harry Potter series. That’s not to say that this is not an enjoyable book. It is.

Nightmares!

This book is different from your typical YA boys’ novel… until it turns out to be more of the same.

It starts out as a horror story. Charlie is having nightmares every night about a truly terrifying witch, and it seems as though his dreams might be crossing over into the real world. Then, the dreams get shelved for several chapters while Charlie does emotional warfare with his new step mother, dragging his younger brother and father through the mud with him.

The book ends in an all-out battle in dream land, where The Normal Boy, The Girl, The Smart Boy, and The Jock take on The Ultimate Evil. Not a bad book, but not great either.

The Trouble with Chickens: A J. J. Tully Mystery

J. J. is a dog. He is also a private investigator. He is hired by a chicken named Moosh to help find her missing chicks, Poppy and Sweetie. It seems as though Vince “The Funnel” has taken them hostage, but for what purpose? Lots of plot twists in this fun novella.

This is a hard book to classify. It’s very short. It’s also a challenging book to read, even for an adult. It’s written in a strong 1940s hardboiled style, with lots of obscure similes, and a difficult vocabulary. It’s brief enough that it’s not exactly the type of book that I am seeking for Timmy, yet I think any of my younger children would likely have trouble following the narrative.

The Boundless

An incident with Sasquatch and an avalanche sends Will’s father rocketing to a top position in a large railway conglomerate, where he is put in charge of a new breed of steam locomotive, named The Boundless. The engine of this train is capable of pulling several miles of cars and thousands of passengers.

On its maiden voyage, Will unintentionally uncovers a plot to rob the train, and he must navigate what is essentially a moving city to inform his father of the danger. Along the way, he enlists the help of some circus members, including the lovely escape artist, Maren.

This is definitely a book for the older child, tween to teen range. There is some mild adult language, as well as a few somewhat questionable situations. The main characters are not always the best of role models, and don’t make the wisest decisions. I have to admit that I loved it, though. It has a strong sense of mystery and adventure, in an almost-believable steam punk / historical setting.

Wonder

August is an ugly kid. Though the author doesn’t give a complete description of his facial features, you can form a rough image from various implications throughout the story. He is grotesquely, frighteningly deformed. Because of his appearance, he has been home-schooled all his life, until now.

He and his parents have together decided that he should start attending a private middle school with other kids his age. The story of his experiences during the first year of integrated education unfolds through a progressive series of overlapping vignettes, each from a different main character’s point of view.

No magic or fantastical events here, except those of the type that happen all around us every day.

Timmy Failure: Now Look What You’ve Done!

I mostly tried out this book because of the protagonist’s name: Timmy. It’s a short, simple read, with a lot of action and humor. That’s about all it has going for it, though.

The title character, Timmy, is a highly-delusional, super-messed-up kid. He spends the entire book performing one inane, senseless act after another, getting himself further and further into trouble. Ever wonder what Inspector Gadget was like as a child? Then pick up this book.

Counting by 7s

The book starts out with Willow’s parents dying. She is an only child with no surviving relatives, and no close friends. Willow is a super-genius, introverted, and socially awkward, and now she’s a foster child at age 12. Follow her story as she learns to cope with grief, inspires the adults around her, and finds a new family in the process.

This really is a fantastic book. I wouldn’t recommend it for anyone in grade school, because of the challenging, slightly disturbing subject matter. Read it with your middle-school child. There will be plenty to talk about.

Doll Bones

Unlike Nightmares!, which turned out to be a super-kids-save-the-day book disguised as a horror novel, Doll Bones is a truly spooky ghost story. Three friends set out on a quest to put to rest the remains of a dead girl whose ghost is haunting them.

I’m conflicted on this one. I enjoy a good scare, and this book delivers on that, but the activities that the group engages in  ‒ running away from home, avoiding authority figures, lying, stealing ‒ all in the name of their quest… I don’t know. It reminds me a bit of Stand By Me, but with a ghost story thrown into the mix.

The Zombie Chasers

The fact that this is a short novel, combined with the goofy, cartoony cover art might lead you to think that it’s a comedy, geared toward 3rd to 5th graders. At least that was my expectation. Don’t judge this book by its cover.

The Zombie Chasers is a true zombie horror story. Think The Walking Dead, except that all the main characters are middle and high school students. People get mauled, maimed, and eaten throughout this story, and these incidents are described in gruesome detail.

Also, just like any good zombie story, it doesn’t end. Our heroes get to their destination, but is it the safe haven they had hoped for? You’ll need to pick up the next book in the series to find out.

– danBhentschel